The Testimony of a Strong Willed Child

by Sarah Forbes

I was THAT child. 

You know the one. The explosive, high maintenance, strong willed one. The one that the teachers thought --at first-- was really sweet, until something didn’t go my way. Then ...watch out world! I stomped, yelled, kicked, and threw things. I ran away from school. All this was before 4th grade when my parents brought me home for school.

I didn’t like public school. I could blame my behavior on the school system, but that wouldn't be the truth. I’d like to say that homeschooling changed my behavior and all that nonsense stopped. But it didn’t. My brother still cringes over the Saxon math book I threw at him when I didn’t like his explanation of my math questions. I can’t count the number of pencils I broke and doors I slammed in frustration at the world which I thought was set against me.

I am sorry to say that my mother endured many tears and sleepless nights over me. So what did she do? She prayed. She endured. She corrected me. She insisted that I do right. She taught me Scripture. She kept on loving me no matter what. Oh, the drama I put her through. It grieves me now, as a mother myself, to think of the hurtful things I did and said to her.

Once, in a fit of anger after running away from home at 11, I told her she didn’t love me and never had. I can still clearly remember the wounded look on her face. Even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. In fact, I was a miracle baby and my selfless mother had spent nights awake caring for me, listening to be sure I was still breathing, vigilant on my behalf. Her love for me was always evident in what she did. This is one of those moments in my life I regret. One of the memories that Satan uses to discourage me when I am down. I used my words to crush someone who loved me and cared for me more than anyone else ever had.

Back then, I didn’t really care what my parents thought. I did what I wanted with little regard for their rules or standards. I overheard a conversation between two ladies at church: they were sure I would be pregant by fifteen. But the seed of my parent’s love for God had been planted in my heart, and it was slowly growing. In my rebellious moments, I could hear the Lord calling. I could see my mom snuggled in bed with her Bible, my dad on his knees by our couch in the early morning hours. I could feel a draw to God. I heard Him calling through the life, love and daily example of my parents.

One day shortly before my 13th birthday, I went to a friend’s house. She was an unbeliever. The family situation was deplorable. She has been smoking since she was seven and “physically active” at ten. She was the only girl my age our the neighborhood, and I thought I wanted to be like her. She was pretty and fun. All the boys liked her. That day, I didn’t know that her parents were not home and that she had invited boys over for a “party.”. As soon as I go there, I realised what was going on --that they were pairing off in different rooms.  An older boy “picked” me.

At that moment, my world stopped.

I had watched my friend live a life of promiscuousness. I saw the seeds of darkness in her life. But I wasn’t sure that was the life I wanted. I saw two paths separated in front of me. One was the life my parents lived, one of seeking to serve God --imperfect though that service may be. The other was a path to sin and destruction. I had not read “Pilgrim’s Progress” nor Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken”. But I to this day when I hear references to either of those, I am taken back to this moment. This defining moment when I would choose to follow God or abandon my parent’s faith.

So what did I do when this boy “laid claim” to me? I fled. I ran. As fast as I could and I didn’t look back. Joseph in Egypt comes to mind. I ran home and locked myself in my room. Though I had urged my friend to come with me, she refused. She was even excited to stay.

Though I had fled from sin, I had not yet decided who I would follow. At home in my room, the weight of this decision was heavy on my heart and my mind. as I struggled to decide if I was going to follow the world or the Lord. I barely ate or emerged from my room for days. All the while I could feel the Lord calling to my heart. I remember sitting with my back against the door rocking back and forth with sobs, all the while letting the desires of this world melt away.  I had seen how the sin of this world was destroying the life and family of my friend.  God’s love and forgiveness stood in stark contrast. God’s love compelled me so strongly that I had no desire to say “no” to Him. All else paled in comparison to following Him.

I didn’t say a special prayer, though I had “asked Jesus into my heart” when I was four. What I did was I DECIDED. I chose the less traveled path and have never, not for one moment, regretted it. (To this day, praise the Lord for prompting me to flee. I fled with my innocence intact. My friend was pregnant before her sixteenth birthday. Had I not fled, the overheard conversation at church may very well have come true.)

I didn’t tell anyone about this battle in my heart until many years later. After I had children of my own, my dad and I were discussing the salvation of my children. That was when he described the change that he and my mom saw in me: Suddenly, out of nowhere it seemed to them, I changed: I cared what they thought, I started to obey without fighting them, I sought their wisdom, I began to choose better friends and modest clothing, I wanted to go to church,  I read my Bible of my own accord. When Daddy described this change I knew exactly what had facilitated it. I always knew I had changed in that moment, that the Lord had changed me. What I didn’t know is that everyone around me saw it too.

It occurs to me now that God made this change in me without my parents direct involvement. They didn’t even know what had changed or why. They simply lived a godly life in front of me as an example for me to choose to follow. They were not perfect parents, but they were sincere in their faith.

So Mama... so Dad.. out there reading this... wondering about your own little spitfire. Don’t despair as you watch your child strong-willed child struggle. Plant the seeds of a godly life and let the the Lord water that fruit. Live a godly example, love unconditionally like Christ, and pray fervently... and then pray some more. Be an example of a sincere godly life that your child can clearly see. God IS calling your child. Even in my darkest moments, God was calling me to Himself. He loves your child more than you ever could and He will never give up on him. When you are at the end of your rope remember, even when you can’t see it: God IS working.

  

Dedicated to my parents: David and Vicki Artman

What every Christian parent should teach their children when they are young.

Everything is God's NOT ours....

There are no problems too big for God

We do not always understand  God's reasons and why things happen the way they do.

God has a purpose for your life. Answer His call!

Leading Little Ones to God 

by Marian M. Schoolland

I cannot recommend this book more fervently. This author delicately takes complex doctrines of Scripture and makes them understandable to the smallest child.

Discipline in Homeschooling

this is an except from Teaching the Trivium availible as free download from the author here: http://www.triviumpursuit.com/downloads/ten_to_do_before_ten.pdf

We have found, in our own experience, that if the area of discipline is neglected, then we may as well forget about academics. Children will never learn self-discipline if parents do not train them in it. The child

who does not develop self-discipline will fail in many things – including the academics for which you hope to prepare him. Ask yourself these questions: Am I satisfied with the obedience of my children? Do I enjoy being  round my children? Do my children honor and respect me? If your answer is “no” to any of these questions,

then you should re-evaluate your priorities. If you do not have first time obedience from children of all ages, then your homeschool journey will be beset with all number of difficulties. Regarding first time

obedience, we highly recommend a book originally published in 1833, The Mother At Home, by John S.C. Abbott. This book is a most valuable resources for training young women, from a Biblical perspective, on

the art of mothering. Another resource is, Letters on the Education of Children, by John Witherspoon, published by the MacArthur Institute. Do not allow your child to ignore you. You are the immediate reason

for why he is alive. When you tell him something, make sure he hears you. When you read to him, do not let his attention wander too far. Of course, be sensitive. There are going to be times when he has something

he needs to think about, and you may need to leave him do so. But do not let him shut you out. You must always have his attention when you speak. You must always have something for him to hear. No, we do

not live up to that standard. But that should be the standard by which we measure. Do not let your child rule you. Let him rule himself. A man must rule himself before he can rule others. (Think of all of the public offices

which have become inverted and perverted because of men who could not first rule themselves.) Nobody learns to rule himself by obeying his own desires. He can only learn to rule himself by obeying another’s

desires. There must be something larger than himself to serve. (That is why the concept of God is inescapable. If you do not follow the true God, then you must invent a substitute god to serve a similar function.)

If you can teach your child to know himself and rule himself, then he will be able to rule that part of the world which you give to him, and eventually that part of the world of which God places him in stewardship

During one of our trips, we visited a family which lived a very simple life in a very modest home, and homeschooled their five small children. The parents were quite soft spoken and gentle in manner, always speaking to the children in a calm, quiet way. From the very beginning of our visit, it became obvious that the children attended to the voices of their parents. The parents had first time obedience from even the youngest,

and this obedience was obtained with a quiet voice and manner. In all my life, I have never witnessed anything like it. On one occasion, the one-year-old began to climb up on the kerosene heater. I saw the father

give an almost imperceptible shake of the head and heard him say in a whisper, “Isaac, huh, uh.” Immediately the child shifted into reverse and backed away from the heater. The child attended to and obeyed the

very whisper of his father. It moves me to tears to recall that scene and the affection which the children and parents had for each other. Oh, that I had trained my children so well when they were young. God wants

first time obedience from us, and we should form the same habit in our children. When we resort to speaking in a loud voice when we want something of our children, or when we form the habit of repeating our

requests, we train our children to ignore us when we speak. If we could only begin at the very beginning to train our children to attend to our voice – to listen for it no matter what they are doing, and to immediately

obey, how well we will prepare them to listen to their heavenly Father as well. If we were to accomplish this, then our children would view their parents as servants view their masters, and as subjects view their king.

They would have great respect and honor for their parents, wanting only to please them. Of course, the king would be a benevolent and kind master who cared most for his subjects, always treating them with

tenderness and love. Yes, we are kings and queens, our homes are our castles, and the little ones are the servants training one day to be masters of their own homes. Does a queen need to resort to yelling to have

something accomplished? Not likely in a well ordered kingdom. How much better our world would be if we rendered first time obedience to our Lord.

You can download the books she refers to at the links below.

The mother at home, or, The principles of maternal duty familiarly illustrated by John Stevens Cabot Abbott
http://books.google.com/books/download/The_mother_at_home_or_The_principles_of.pdf?id=F04MAAAAYAAJ&output=pdf&sig=ACfU3U1iqmJXS3HkUzm-qZazaYbUAO33HA

Letters on the education of children, and on marriage
John Witherspoonhttp://books.google.com/books/download/Letters_on_the_education_of_children_and.pdf?id=Ov65OIRM6S0C&output=pdf&sig=ACfU3U3E9N2m6ZQSasBHnboedyMUBcSMyw

Want to be challenged to be a better wife/mother/teacher? Read this article..... it will stop you in your tracks; it did me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a Mother Must Sacrifice…

Houses may be bought, built, or borrowed.

But homes can only be made, and that with bits of ourselves.

Or so the ducks told me.

They told me without a sound, just simply as they preened and nestled, a painting, oil on canvas. The children press in close too, for a better look at Alexander Max Koester’s painting Ducks, and I read aloud the caption below the brushes of color.

“Mother ducks pick feathers from their chests to line their nests.”

see the rest of this article here.

The importance of establishing a love of learning for the future.

Some of the best homeschooling advice I received was: ** MAKE IT FUN**. We want them to LOVE to LEARN so that they will keep learning beyond the time we have them at home. If he is complaining, it must not be very fun. Simplify!... if you must.... throw the curriculum out. Play with him and while you are playing, talk to him about what he should be learning. Make it real to life. Show him how you use it these things in every day life. And if you don't use them in everyday life, maybe they are not that important after all.

Above all remember: it is our government that decided that little boys and girls should be put to work learning for 8 hours/ day. THAT IS NOT HOW GOD MADE THEM! They were made to romp and roam and climb trees and scrape their knees! When I was homeschooled in highschool, I could get my work done in LESS THAN 3 HOURS. If your little one is taking longer than that, you are expecting too much. Don't push it. We are establishing now the foundation for his future perceptions of learning. And there is no assignment that is worth ruining his FUTURE MOTIVATION TO LEARN.

Ever wonder why your children are being difficult? Maybe you are not challenging them in the ways THEY need.

"A slack mind breeds discontent"

~ Debi Pearl

free downloadable curriculum.. making choices

Making Choices

6 different books offered